Never Give Up Hope

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -Lance Armstrong

My SM journey has been quite difficult today.  I overdid it the last few days and lifted my son more than I should have. I’ve realized I can lift or hold him once per day, but I was really pushing it yesterday lifting him as many times as I did. Having children that I can’t lift or do things with like I used to has been really difficult for me; I just don’t know how to handle it. I pray for the strength to get through this and heal everyday…I hope He hears me.

I spoke with my cousin today who has been in the medical field for many years and has a lot of wonderful advice.  He spoke with me and urged me to get a second opinion if only for my own sanity.  I agree with him and I will look into going to another neurologist who specializes in this disorder that he has recommended.  He gave me some great insight into what types of procedures that can possibly prevent the loss of proprioception. If I will know where my arms and legs are I’m game! Because this doctor is hundreds of miles away, however, that means I will likely have surgery and it will be far from home. I’m hopeful and scared at the same time. It’s most definitely bittersweet.

The quote by Lance Armstrong I began this entry with means so much to me because it’s made me abundantly aware that I have to take the first step in my diagnosis to overcome this adversity. It’s a very fearful step for me to take and I have been quite reluctant to do so, but I know that it is for the best not only for me, but also for my family. My cousin told me something that really hit home, I am entirely too young to be going through this type of pain, especially with young children. I agree with him and I will pursue the best possible treatment for this disorder.  This Easter I am thankful for my family and their support through all of this, especially in pushing me to find the best option possible.