Enough is Enough

Tomorrow I get my first treatment for my Syringomyelia. I have been referred to a pain management company and they will be performing a procedure to insert steroids into my spine. I am pretty nervous about this procedure and have been unable to sleep for the last several nights. A lot of the sleeplessness is due to the nerves for the procedure, the unavoidable pain, and the headaches. Unfortunately, my headache has lasted the entire weekend and the back pain has come back full force. Because of this pain, I guess it’s good that they will be performing this procedure tomorrow.  

I did enjoy a part of my day yesterday with the kids. I spent a portion of the day taking the kids out to eat and to a movie. When I got home I was beyond exhausted and in pain. It has been pretty frustrating to have difficulty performing normal tasks not only for me, but also for my children. I am hoping that this treatment will help me because I am terrified that this is going to affect my ability to do things with my children. This cyst has taken enough of my quality living time; it’s time for it to stop.

Although this weekend has been a painful one, I am hopeful that tomorrow with bring me strength, courage and the ability to live a somewhat normal life. The procedure will only mask the pain of what is going on in my spinal cord, but there is a potential that mask will help the pain to subside long enough to participate in the activities that I have so longed to return. I miss my guitar, exercising, my independence, and most importantly my quality time with my beautiful children. I know that if I give my treatment a chance, I can regain my life slowly. Enough is enough, it’s time for a change and I can’t do that without taking that first step. Tomorrow I will begin my healing journey.