Oh to be Normal Again

I apologize for the lapse in time since my last entry. I have been extremely busy with work and home. I have been battling several issues with my SM and it’s been a difficult few weeks. I have had several migraines, spasms and twitches on top of the constant back pain. I’ve missed the days when I have felt “normal.” It’s been so long since I have been without a headache. I’m still searching for the miracle pill to get rid of those, but it’s not out there I fear. I have been using Excederin some and it has been helping a little. I spoke with a co-worker and she gave me a name of a medication that I should try and I can’t recall the name! It starts with a Z so if you all have any idea of what it is please let me know!

Other than the headaches and back pain (today my back feels like it is pinching)  I have been alright. I’m still extremely weak and have been really upset about that. I lose strength doing the simplest of tasks. I lose strength whenever I even wash my hair! Today I washed my hair and had to take several breaks to get all of the soap out. I believe I have mentioned that before but the fatigue has gotten much worse these days it seems.

I did speak with my doctor and he has requested that I get another MRI to see if my syrinx (cyst) has grown. I believe that he thinks it has or he wouldn’t request this procedure. The thing is I am not going to do the surgery right now even if it has grown. I am terrified of the after effects of the surgery. I cannot risk losing my proprioception. (“[Proprioception ] is the awareness of our posture, weight, movement and position of limbs, both in relation to our environment and in relation to other parts of our bodies.” )  I am terrified that the surgery will impair me more than it will help me. I’m trying to stay positive through all of this and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult with the symptoms increasing like they have been.

I appreciate everyone praying for my recovery and improvement. It means so much to me to have family and friend that care so much about me. I love you all very much and I thank you for your support.