So much is unknown. All the research that I have read is
merely speculation of what “could” happen to me because each case is completely
unique. The possibilities range from no symptoms (which is obviously not my
path) all the way to death. I guess it just troubles me when I think about how
devastating my diagnosis really was in March 2011. I really want to just forget
about my diagnosis and live life as a normal adult, but my symptoms don’t allow
me to do that these days.
I have the delivery of my son coming up and I’ve had what
they call a patient care conference at the hospital. My case is quite rare and
the room was full of doctors and medical professionals offering me some sort of
insight into what my delivery might be like in the coming months. They
discussed that there is not a lot of research for women with my diagnosis who
have become pregnant. Luckily, I have a support group that is amazing and full
of women who also conceived when diagnosed with Syringomyelia and/or Chiari.
One doctor (anesthesiologist) felt that I could handle a natural birth, while
my obstetrician and perinatologist both recommended a c-section delivery. The
meeting went on for an hour and a half discussing both the pros and cons of
both sides. In the end, we all agreed that a c-section would be the best choice
for me. The next decision will come from the type of anesthesia I will be
given, whether it is general (completely asleep) or an epidural.
Yesterday proved to be a difficult one for me. I realized
that I am less than two months from bringing my son into this world and I am
not sure how it will all play out for me physically. My greatest fear is to not
see my son being born due to a possible general anesthesia delivery. The other
major fear is that I may not be able to fully care for my son the way most
mothers are able due to my physical constraints. What the doctors and I
completely agreed upon is that my son is in wonderful health and that my
concern is not on how HE is going to handle delivery but more so, how I am
going to handle it with my condition. We discussed that pregnancy does not
worsen my condition, but potentially a natural delivery could.
Colin, our new son, is doing amazingly well. He is growing
quickly and, as of our last ultrasound, weighed 3lbs 5ounces at 28 weeks. This
is approximately one and a half pounds larger than the other babies in the same
week. We will be 30 weeks tomorrow and will have seven weeks until our little
Colin comes into our family. Through all of the fears, I am more anxious to
meet my little boy and bring him into our already loving family full of
wonderful children. Colin will be our final child and will give us two girls
and two boys. I’m truly blessed even through all of the pain and anguish the
diagnosis brings me.